Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:11
When I was a little girl if I argued with my mom or used a tone she didn’t think was respectful the standard consequence was to stand in the corner facing the wall. I would have to stand there and think about the error of my ways until I was ready to apologize properly. I used to think that was the most cruel and unusual punishment ever in the history of punishments. I mean seriously…it was quiet, nothing to look at…nothing to do…nobody to disturb me…just me alone with my thoughts! Today I’m begging…would somebody PLEASE send me to the corner because I need to just be quiet and think. It’s been one of those an inch short and a minute late kind of weeks.
I spent some serious time over break planning some awesome lessons for my middle lovelies and I charged back to school this week ready to dive in and it’s been one disaster after another. I’ve spilled coffee on important papers, accidently recycled an English assignment, spent hours planning a stellar unit for a new Novel only to discover they’ve already read it and the week is only half over. I’m beginning to think they are going to take my paycheck back this week. God did spare me one epic disaster and I’m thanking him for that. Our hallway bulletin boards for January have an Old Testament theme so I’ve been busy planning three lessons and bulletin boards for the middle lovelies to work on. One grade is going to do heroes of the Old Testament. They will need to do a little research and jot down a couple of facts about the hero they choose. Since the rest of the week had been such a mess by the Grace of God I took a few minutes after school just to make sure resources were readily available to do the research. The fourth name I looked up was Lot and boy am I glad I did! About three paragraphs in it told the story of drunkenness and incest with his daughters. YIKES! Not the standard stuff you give fifth graders to read so I sat at my desk until 5:30 making sure I had 41 “morally uneventful” heroes on my list. I think I’ve made every mistake and blunder I could possibly make this week! I’ve questioned my ability and effectiveness as a teacher, as a mother, as a wife and as a writer. I’ve not only eaten my lunch but I’ve worn it, I’ve forgotten important things, I’ve washed the same load of laundry three times and put a hefty serving of chili powder instead of cinnamon in the baked apples I made for dinner one night. Believe me when I tell you these are just the highlights! I feel like I should be walking around with some kind of warning label on my sweater! Have you ever noticed that when you get discouraged with yourself you see your flaws far more clearly than your strengths? I’d like to stand in the corner and think about that for a few minutes if you please!
I suppose it would be easy to feel sorry for myself because it’s been such a lousy week. I might even feel like I’ve got a reason or two to be a little ticked off at God for ruining my week and throwing me into such doubt when he really should be rewarding faithful servants and picking on the bad guys instead. Those are exactly the things Satan wants me to think right now. I think it’s the perfect time to go stand in the corner and think about what God is trying to teach me through all of this. If I stand still long enough I might find big humor in all of it but for now I’m feeling pretty soggy so I just have to be still and let it all wash over me knowing there is a lesson. There is something I need to see right now and if I’m patient and trust he will reveal it. He’s teaching and preparing me for something and he will deliver me from this funk. I guess it’s like labor and delivery isn’t it…you never get to the delivery without some labor. If any of you have had a 2015 with a less than spectacular beginning let’s just all go stand in the corner and pray a bit and know God’s got something big goin on in our lives!
A Seed To Plant: God teaches and reaches us through every emotion…take some quiet time this week to ponder what he’s up to in your life.
Blessings on your day!
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