Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23
Several years ago my friend Cindy and I did a 60 mile walk from Ann Arbor to Detroit to raise money for breast cancer research. That 3 day walk was long, difficult and amazing. We took off that first day not really grasping what it would take physically and emotionally to walk about 20 miles three days in a row. The first day was great but on day 2 and 3 it was a little tougher to get up and get motivated because I knew how far that distance was and I knew what I would feel like at the end of the day. Looking back, it’s one of my favorite memories but I can honestly say I’d probably never do it again.
The distance made that weekend a challenge, but as I get older, I realize sometimes shorter distances can prove to be just as difficult as that long 60 mile walk. There is one short distance that trips me up nearly every day. That distance is a mere 18 inches from my head to my heart. There are so many things I know in my mind to be true and right, but that knowledge and wisdom doesn’t always travel to my heart where I can put things in action. I’ve been noticing the Father inviting me to pay attention to that distance lately.
I can read lots of scripture and say lots of prayers but if I don’t let those words travel from my mind to my heart, they don’t become action. I can write all kinds of goals and ambitions in my prayer journal but if I don’t set my heart on them, they are nothing more than words on a page. In my mind I know he loves me infinitely but when I shrink away from his affection and hide from him when I’ve done something I think will disappoint him, my heart isn’t living his love.
I know he will meet my every need but when I find myself feeling jealous of things others have, I’m not letting the knowledge make it to my heart so I can feel gratitude more than greed. When I compare every meal I cook to something the Pioneer Woman creates in her test kitchen or when I walk into my living room and compare it to something Chip and Joanna create, I’m stuck in my head, not my heart. Making those comparisons is a little like thinking the fancier my stuff is, the more the Father loves me. If I closed that 18 inch gap a little I would realize that’s nonsense. God doesn’t sprinkle his love like ship lap and cinnamon, he slathers it right into our struggles, disappointments and simple joys.
My head tells me he’d love me more if I was put together and less of a hot mess; my heart tells me he is delighted to meet me in the middle of my daily disasters. My head tells me I should work harder to be good so he’ll love me more; my heart tells me he doesn’t expect perfection, just prayerfulness, contrition and a dozen do-overs a day. My head tells me I’m not worthy of his love; my heart agrees but reminds me worthiness isn’t a condition for being loved and cherished by my Creator. My head tell me I’ll never be good enough or strong enough or holy enough; my heart tells me I’m HIS and he will be all those things for me. My head tells me work harder; my heart reminds me that he says “rest in me”.
Who knew there could be such a disconnect in that short distance! I’m thinking I don’t need to take a long hike or climb a tall mountain; I just need to do a better job at the short space between my head and my heart…that’s a mission that will keep me busy for a while!
A Seed To Plant: Jot down 3 or 4 things that get jumbled in that distance between your head and your heart.
Blessings on your day!
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