How About Some Help

We know that all creation is groaning in labor pains even until now; Romans 8:22

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​These words from St. Paul to the Romans grabbed my attention this morning.  Anyone who has ever been in a delivery room while a baby makes its way into the world can relate in a very personal way to that line.  As I was pondering those words, I was looking at pictures taken from our family vacation last weekend.  I thought about my children and my grandchildren, and I marveled at the beauty those labor pains produce and asked God to show me why this verse jumped out and struck me so deeply; and He did!

Like many of you, I remember vividly and happily the day I got married.  I remember Fr. Hasenkamp slowly and clearly saying the vows each of us were to repeat.  I remember being so excited and nervous I was afraid I would get lost in my own thoughts and say the wrong thing.  I remember promising to love and honor Dave and I remember the part about accepting children lovingly and raising them up in the faith.  I thought about all the people with little ones who had made the same promises I had.  You’d think since we all spoke the same promises, we’d be really good at helping each other honor them…but sometimes we’re not. As I was looking at vacation pictures of my five (soon to be six) grandbabies and their parents I was overwhelmed by the thought that raising kids can be tough and I want them to have the support they need to be amazing, faith filled parents who raise amazing humans. The truth is, I want that for every parent…our world needs that. After spending a whole weekend with the people I love most in this world, I’m so incredibly grateful for the gift of motherhood and grandmotherhood…I had absolutely no idea how much I could love the little people I get to call my grandbabies or how proud I could be of their parents.  All of this makes me realize we need to re-think the way we see and lift up other parents and grandparents.

I get troubled when we turn the wrong things into a competition.  We’ve all been the parent of the child who does something that makes us proud and, in all honesty, we’ve probably all been the parent of the child who does the opposite.  I wish we weren’t so quick to judge other parents when the child falls into group two.  Let’s face it, labor was hard but sometimes it doesn’t even compare to how hard raising kids can be.  My babies were the size of toddlers when they were born; they all apparently adored me so much they never wanted to exit the womb, and sleeping through the night was definitely not a “thing” with the Three Little Wohlferts.  They all walked, talked, whined and had epic diaper disasters at different stages and times and it seemed someone always had advice on what I wasn’t doing right.  We need to give ourselves and our kids and our grandkids a break and realize they are all amazing in their own way and with love, in God’s time, they will be exactly who God created them to be.  Our goal is to raise our kids up in faith and help them get to heaven and quite frankly I think we could all use a little help with that big job now and again. What if we said something kind to the lady in the grocery store with the screaming toddler instead of raising our eyebrows and assuming she doesn’t know how to discipline her child.  What if we entertained the notion that the fussy baby and the grumpy dad sitting in the same waiting room were sleep deprived, going through a tough time or flat out having a bad day.  And just maybe that 9-year-old having a melt down at the movie theater has some real struggles and truly didn’t come to ruin your day. 

Making assumptions doesn’t help us raise our kids…judging doesn’t help us get our kids to heaven.  The labor pains weren’t supposed to be the easiest part! Each family, each child, each parent is on a journey we know nothing about.  No one ever said the world needed more competition and comparison!   God has an amazing plan for each of us…even the smallest, wiggliest, fussiest, loudest, quietest little person and their frustrated, sleep deprived, proud, loving mammas and daddies.  I came across a neat little story that just kind of drove this whole scripture home.  It’s a story about a dog and an elephant and the genius of the Loving Father who can do whatever he wants in the time frame he chooses.  

The story goes like this.  An elephant and a dog became pregnant at the same time. Three months down the line the dog gave birth to six puppies. Six months later the dog was pregnant again, and nine months on it gave birth to another dozen puppies. The pattern continued. On the eighteenth month the dog approached the elephant questioning, "Are you sure that you are pregnant? We became pregnant on the same date, I have given birth three times to a dozen puppies, and they are now grown to become big dogs, yet you are still pregnant. What’s going on?". The elephant replied, "There is something I want you to understand. What I am carrying is not a puppy but an elephant. I only give birth to one in two years. When my baby hits the ground, the earth feels it. When my baby crosses the road, human beings stop and watch in admiration, what I carry draws attention. So, what I'm carrying is mighty and great.". Don't lose faith when you see others receive answers to their prayers. Don't be envious of others’ testimony. If you haven't received your own blessings, don't despair. Say to yourself "My time is coming, and when it hits the surface of the earth, people shall yield in admiration." 

I think it would be a good idea to yield in admiration a little more often!  If the dog had continued to compare and judge, he might have missed the amazing.

A Seed To Plant: Do one small thing to support a parent!

Blessings on your day!