The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23
It seems that lately I have found myself in the middle of the same conversation about a dozen times. The conversations happen at functions where my peers and I see our children are walking through the door as grown-ups. I’m seeing the kids that played in my basement and ran through the sprinkler in my front yard and sat in the seats in my classroom getting married, having children and talking about their careers. I’ve been bumping into these grown up young people that are talking about their jobs and their lives. I talked with one young man who fixes cars and it seems like he just learned how to drive last week …and then there was the boy I watched learn to read who was talking to me about the reading scores of his own students and there was the boy who teased girls with a fury that I watched say I do and promised to spend his whole life loving a beautiful girl; something he swore in elementary school would certainly NEVER happen to him. As the moms and dads gather to visit, we always say the same thing; “how did that happen…I guess I blinked.”
Last weekend our school celebrated it’s annual Dinner Raffle which is a huge, amazing event that since it’s inception twenty years ago has raised over one million dollars for our school. I had the privilege and the honor of being a part of those first five years and to see how much has been accomplished over the years was pretty awesome. As I looked up at that 20th Anniversary banner I realized that when it started my college senior was a toddler and her oldest brother was in kindergarten. Again I said, “how did that happen…I guess I blinked.” It’s funny that those words ring with a little twinge of sadness. I miss the 3 little Wohlferts and their friends jumping on the couch cushions and playing baseball in the basement thinking I didn’t know. I miss squealing girls and dance parties and the smell of nail polish wafting up the basement stairs. I miss feeling like Old Mother Hubbard after the friends went home and mostly I miss walking into my house and seeing a big ole heap of shoes that belonged on the feet of the kids gathered in the basement.
Last night at a wonderful wedding, I watched a big group of young grown-ups from all 3 little Wohlferts classes and I realized I’d been looking at it all wrong. Every time I stopped to chat with one of them I felt really old! I felt like I lost something and wanted it back. I felt like I wanted to re-play it all to make sure I hadn’t missed something. As a mom, I sometimes look back on my “less than stellar” mom moment and want those back for a re-do. Those words kept coming into my mind, “I must have blinked!” I realized as I was watching them dance and laugh and enjoy themselves in their fancy clothes, that the blinks weren’t really about me. I keep thinking about my age and how I would like to go back in time and how much I miss those great mom moments but when I took myself out of the equation, I realized those blinks were full of beautiful things.
During the blinks all those kids I loved grew into young adults I love. All the playing and laughing and shenanigans forged great friendships, loyalty and a boatload of stories and memories. During those blinks they all matured and found their path. During those blinks they became independent, dedicated and driven. During those blinks I realized they have all become exactly what we wanted them to…great humans! Last night I saw dresses, heels, ties and tuxes but when I blinked I saw those school uniform solid color polos and superman t-shirts and little league jerseys and it made me smile. When I opened my eyes again and saw the grown-up version of all those little people, I realized that I hadn’t missed a thing; I had been there every moment of the journey and I stopped to realize all the amazing things that unfolded right before my eyes. I blinked again and I could still go back to blanket forts, sword fights with wrapping paper tubes, 4-H fairs and the prom. I realized I’d always have the blinks but the great opportunity to talk to a young adult and realize they had become exactly what they wrote about becoming in the 4th grade was worth the wrinkles and gray hairs that are a part of my look.
If we don’t blink nothing happens. If we don’t blink we’ll all be stuck. As I sat in mass this morning I saw one of my very favorite students who lost her mama when she was just a second grader. She has always had a special place in my heart and I realized how beautiful and necessary the blinks really are as I watched her snuggle and sway gently with her gorgeous baby girl in her arms. I blinked and she grew into a beautiful wife and mother and I could almost feel the joy and the happiness come from that little families end of the pew. God flooded my heart with joy and my eyes with tears and reminded me that the blinks are beautiful and with each one; with each stage that passes, we get another chance to see the great things he does in our lives. I made sure to say a prayer for all the beautiful blinks and the blessings that followed.
A Seed To Plant: Time isn’t meant to stand still…God is constantly working, so instead of feeling things have passed you by, look at what he’s done and hope for the beautiful things to come.
Blessings on your day!
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not swerve from it. Proverbs 22:6
Things aren’t always what they seem. More often than I’d like to admit, I get things all settled in my mind only to realize I’ve seen it completely from the wrong perspective. The world can be pretty clear about what, who and how we should be and it’s pretty easy to slide right into that groove. God really wanted my attention and he got it, as I took a lesson from a mom about my age with a tall son named Kevin. Coincidence; not at all, God doesn’t do coincidence…he does; I love you so shut up and pay attention!
At first glance, her Kevin looked like a regular, tall handsome looking young man in his mid 20’s, just like my Kevin. But after just a few seconds, I realized he wasn’t the same at all. Her Kevin had the cognitive abilities of a seven year old and they were at the airport just watching planes take off because it was his favorite thing to do and it was their weekly Saturday morning date. I remember feeling sad and wondered if they ever felt cheated out of the things most of us take for granted. After hearing her story, I realized I was looking at things through a cloudy lens.
The mom talked about how her son was the greatest teacher of faith and all things good she could have ever imagined. When he was born, she worried about all the things he’d miss. As he got older she realized how lucky he was, and how lucky she was to be his mom. She shared that he was always up at dawn to go to a job at a workplace for people with disabilities and he approached each work day with such contentment and peace. He always finishes what he starts, delights in helping with any task, not because it’s important or hard or prestigious but because it’s helping someone and he feels accomplishment simply because it’s completed.
Her son has an innate sense of truth and trust. He doesn’t lie; it isn’t in his nature or ability. He trusts and prays with unshakable faith. He finds delight in tasks like doing the laundry and vacuuming the house. He realizes it’s helpful and productive and that brings him joy. He has no concern for fashion or material goods. He enjoys the simplicity of watching birds, planes and anything in nature. When he sees something beautiful or exciting in nature he always says, “Thank you God, I really liked seeing that!” He is capable of only goodness and sees each new day, even though it will be a repeat of the one before it, as a new and exciting gift from God.
Every parent worries about their child. We want them to be happy, to find a good job, to have enough money to enjoy life, to have a good education or training. We want them to be good and kind and mostly, we want them to get to heaven. Kevin’s mom said she sees all those things in her son every single day. She admitted that he takes a different kind of time and love than his siblings but he’s the child she worries about least because he, by nature, is saintly and lives without the temptations and sin that can put a wedge between us and the Father’s plan. That is the ultimate peace for a mothers soul she shared.
That encounter left me with a changed mama heart. I realize how many things I pray for in regard to my children. I pray for passed tests and high cattle prices and job promotions. I pray for their friendships, future spouses and their happiness. If I’m being truthful, I pray so hard and so often for things to be easy and peaceful for them. I will probably still pray for all those things but I realize I haven’t seen the whole picture and I thank Kevin’s mom for teaching me that those aren’t the greatest hopes to have for our children. I will pray a lot more for my children’s contentment, for their joy, for their peacefulness and for their ability to resist the noise of the world and more clearly hear the voice of the Father guiding them on the path he has planned for them.
A Seed To Plant: Spend some time thinking about the ways you pray for your children, godchildren, grandchildren of nieces and nephews. Decide if perhaps your prayers for them need a new perspective.
Blessings on your day!
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14
My dad always taught us that if we borrowed something, no matter what it was, we should return it in better condition than it was when we borrowed it. I’m pretty sure that applies to our children too. Before our first baby was born, my Grandma told me that the children I would bear weren’t mine, rather, they were a precious gifts on loan from the Father and it was our primary responsibility as parents, to help them get to heaven. Grandmas thinking may seem a bit countercultural today. The word might have us think our primary task is to get our kids on the most prestigious teams, the most elite dane troops or into the most impressive schools. While we’re aiming for first string, first chair and top score, Jesus is begging us to show our children that nothing is more important than giving him first place in our lives.
Holiness, simply put, is oneness with God so here are a few things we can do as parents to make good on our responsibility to help our kids grow in holiness and give the Lord first place.
*Pray with and for your kids every day. It’s hard for kids to understand the importance of Jesus and His Church if we rarely talk about it.
*Do as I do! Our kids imitate what we model. They need to see us pray, read scripture and trust in the Lord. We are teaching lessons when we’re cut off in traffic, talking about the frustrating co-worker at dinner or putting an envelope in the Sunday collection.
*As you travel to games, concerts, recitals and events, make sure to include some trips to the really important places like Sunday Mass, Eucharistic Adoration or even a quick stop to rest from the noise and chaos in a quiet, peaceful church. As christians, we know Jesus is with us always but a special stop to sit in his Eucharistic Presence is good for the soul. It also shows our children that Jesus is important enough to stop for.
*Say NO to the things that don’t point your kids to heaven. That could be screen activity, movies, music or friendships. Their holiness is more important than your popularity.
*Point them to the Holy Ones. The world sets before our children people who don’t always use their gifts and talents to glorify God. Since moving into a cave to shelter our kids from all of that isn’t very practical, we can shower them with stories of the holy men and women of our faith. Many of the saints lived crazy, amazing, adventurous lives and their stories are interesting and inspiring. Put them before your kids to serve as heroes and role models.
“Holy enough” is not a thing…holiness is a continuous journey toward the Father so as we help our children grow in holiness, we will find ourselves growing too and that is a very good thing!
A Seed To Plant: Pick something from the list and make a plan to put it into action this week.
Blessings on your day!
Be anxious about nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
I’m a pretty big fan of the “Gospel according to Sheri”. In other words, I often like to do things my own way, predict the ending I fancy and try to arrange every detail along the way. I can count the number of times that has worked well on one hand; and they were probably just happy accidents. As our house is about to become empty and quiet again I was questioning his plan when I happened upon this verse and it was a beautiful reminder that he has a job and so do I. His job is to manage the universe and each life he created and my job is to let him do his job. Seems pretty simple don’t you think?
Many of us are at a parenting crossroad and social media is about to blow up with posts about taking kids off to college and staring Kindergarten or the last year of high school, this verse just rings in my mind and echoes in my heart. It reminds me that our kids were designed to grow up not live in our basement until they were 30. Our kids were meant to learn, grow, travel and live. They are going to meet people and make friends; some will shape their character and some will test it. They are going to make great decisions steeped in the love and wisdom we’ve slathered them with and they will most likely make some not so great decisions and those will be where the real learning takes place. Independence is a great thing until we watch our kids creep away from us and use it! I’ve always heard people talk about growing pains but I didn't expect parents to be the ones who suffered from them the most!
Our youngest child begins her last year in college and that makes me feel really old! I’m really scratching my head wondering how that happened when I’m still celebrating my 29th birthday! The truth is, time races by whether we want it to or not and as parents, we want our kids to be happy and safe. Sometimes we worry but through the process of trusting, there comes great peace. The other night as I was thinking about my college senior and my soon to be married son it made for a long night and in the middle of that long night, I grabbed a pencil and paper and these thoughts just tumbled out. I’m sure they are from him because I would not be writing in a notebook at 2 in the morning just for my own amusement. I hope they just might come in handy no matter what new crossroad you find yourself at this day.
*Your child is mine…I love them more than you and I will care for them today and every day after.
*I parted a sea, I can make sure your child has someone to play with at recess.
*I put a piece of me inside them, just ask me to help it shine through them.
*Being mine is far more important than being on the team or the homecoming float so help them keep their priorities straight.
*The more time you spend in worry, the less time you spend in trust.
*I always know what’s best…it isn’t always easiest but it’s best because best is getting to heaven and only I know that path for your child.
*My plans for them far exceed yours…let me do my work and just pray for your child to cooperate.
*Tell them you love them but make sure they know I love them even more.
*Truth trumps popularity every single time so demand honesty.
*You can’t pass the test unless you do the lessons…and some lessons are really hard…let them do the work, especially when the lesson is hard.
*Trust me, thank me; when things are easy and when they are hard; don’t worry, I’m a very reliable Father!
*Pray for them and pray with them, speak my name together and often.
*My love isn’t attached to being first, best, beautiful, popular or perfect so please don’t let your love be either.
*It’s not your job to constantly rescue and save your child, one particular Friday my Father watched me suffer through something really awful that turned out pretty awesome! I knew he was there but he didn’t do it for me.
*Everything in life isn't easy...but everything isn't hard either; know that I'm there loving you through it all.
*If your child needs someone; I'll always get there first, teach them my call sign...JESUS COME!
A Seed To Plant: Write this verse on a post it and stick it somewhere you’ll see it when you worry then pick a couple things from the list that hit your heart or that might touch someone you know who is worried about a child and ask the Father to help you put it in motion.
Blessings on your day and on your Children’s backpack wherever they may be taking it this fall!
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